


The pigeon made me do it

by AnnaTheHank



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Crowley is a torturous lil shit, M/M, Three's A Crowd - Freeform, Voyeurism, torture in like the sexy way not the mean way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-16 13:30:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20825636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaTheHank/pseuds/AnnaTheHank
Summary: Aziraphale agrees to let Gabriel watch him and Crowley. Crowley agrees too, but only so he can torture Gabriel a bit. Or a lot.





	The pigeon made me do it

**Author's Note:**

> Title has nothing to do with the story. Well it has *something* to do with the *writing* of the story but not the story itself.   
Yeah!

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” Crowley said. He crossed his arms and glared at the intruder who was standing next to their bed. 

“You said it would be alright,” Aziraphale said, placing a hand on his arm, “if someone was to watch.”

“Yeah! But not Gabriel!” Crowley gestured over to the Archangel in question and gave Aziraphale a look that said ‘I can’t believe you think this is okay.’ “I mean! Why?”

Aziraphale glanced at Gabriel, then back at Crowley. “Well, because he asked.”

Crowley grabbed his hair with both hands, trying to stop his brain from crawling out of his head and running away at how much this just did not make sense. “What?”

“Perhaps I can explain,” Gabriel said. He took a step forward but Crowley pointed at him, halting his movements. 

“No, no! You, shut up!” He wasn’t sure what excited him more, the fact that he had told Gabriel to shut up, or the fact that Gabriel actually did. He turned to Aziraphale. “Explain.”

“Well, you see, a few days ago Gabriel came by to visit,” Aziraphale started. Crowley glared over at Gabriel. Had made it two whole years un bothered. Knew it had to end eventually. “And well, it was really quite sweet.” 

Crowley looked back at Aziraphale, eyebrows raised. “Sweet?” He pointed his thumb at Gabriel. “Him?”

Aziraphale nodded. 

“Oh yes. See, he told me that these two years apart made him realize how much he cared for me-” huh? “-and that not seeing me or reading my reports made him quite sad-” Wha? “-and over time he came to the conclusion that he loved me-” I’m sorry? “-well, you know, I told him that nothing could happen, obviously, since we’re together-” obviously “-but, you know how it is, he just looked so...sad and well, I told him he could watch-” Ngk “-granted that you were okay with it and you were! So, here we are.”

Aziraphale gestured about to the three of them. Crowley could actually feel his brain frying. He turned around and placed his head against the door frame. That was way too much information to process all at once. 

“Crowley?” Aziraphale placed a hand on his back. “Are you alright?”

“Oh yeah,” Crowley said, voice deadpan. He pushed away from the door frame. “My husband wants his ex boss who literally tried to kill him to watch us have sex.” He gave Aziraphale a look. “Why wouldn’t I be alright?”

Aziraphale frowned slightly. “I’m picking up on some sarcasm.”

“YA THINK?”

Aziraphale fidgeted and glanced at Gabriel. “It’s fine if you want to change your mind,” he said. “But you’re going to have to be the one to tell him.” He nodded at Gabriel and then went to sit on the bed, crossing his arms as if it was Crowley who was being unreasonable here.

“Fine.” 

Crowley grumbled and stalked up to Gabriel. He looked up but Gabriel wasn’t looking at him. He was staring at Aziraphale. And his face looked weird. It wasn’t like it normally was, smiling and bright and charming in an idiotic kind of way. But he was frowning, and it looked a little uncomfortable, his laugh lines disappearing. And his eyes were a little downcast, not quite teary, but certainly dark and gloomy. His jaw quivered for a quick second, but he swallowed whatever it was down. 

Crowley groaned and rolled his eyes. Fucking angels and their stupid sad faces. “Oh my- Fine! You can stay! But there are gonna be some ground rules!”

He heard Aziraphale shift on the bed and Gabriel’s face brightened up, smiling a bit. Then he looked over to Crowley as if just realizing he was there. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

Crowley fought the urge to slap him. It would probably make the whole scenario more manageable, but he didn’t think Aziraphale would look kindly on it so he just balled his hands up by his side. 

“You sit there,” Crowley said. He nodded and a chair appeared, one that looked comfortable but was actually not, for good measure. “You do nothing, you say nothing! Got it?”

Gabriel opened his mouth but then closed it. He sat down, eyeing Crowley cautiously. If he wasn’t so busy trying to keep his body from imploding, he might have been a little excited at how he was ordering Gabriel around so easily.

“And no touching anything! No moving at all!”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said. He was leaning across the bed, a hand reached out to him. “I rather think that’s enough rules. Now come here.”

Crowley gave Gabriel another hard stare before he took Aziraphale’s hand and crawled onto the bed. He did his best to ignore the other presence in the room, focusing on laying Aziraphale under him and kissing him deeply. When Aziraphale had suggested someone watching, Crowley had figured they’d go pick some guy up at a club and have a dandy time putting on a show. This was entirely different. 

To get his mind off it Crowley moved his kisses down to Aziraphale’s neck. He licked at it, enjoying the way that Aziraphale shivered, and then bit down, not-so-gently. 

He heard the chair move, sliding against the floor abruptly, and one of Aziraphale’s hands left Crowley’s body.

“It’s okay,” Aziraphale breathed out. “It doesn’t hurt.”

Crowley released his hold and looked over his shoulder. Gabriel was standing up, hands balled into fists, eyes glued to Aziraphale’s face. “I thought I said no moving!”

Aziraphale nodded, his hand patting at the air. “It’s alright,” he said. “I’m alright.”

Gabriel nodded and pulled the chair back over. He sat down but his hands were still formed into fists resting against the arms of the chair. Crowley rolled his eyes. Great. First he had to deal with a watching Gabriel, and now he had to deal with a watching Gabriel that didn’t understand how sex worked. Fantastic.

Crowley turned his attention back to Aziraphale’s neck. He bit down on all the soft, and plump flesh there, loving the way it felt between his teeth, like Aziraphale was the first snack that Crowley ever had a hunger for. 

“Are you sure that doesn’t hurt?” Gabriel asked.

Crowley practically growled. “What part of no talking did you not understand?” he asked, looking back over at Gabriel.

Aziraphale placed a hand on his cheek to calm him. “Really, it’s fine. It feels good actually.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him. “How can it feel good? He’s biting you.”

“Shut up!” Crowley shouted. “No more talking! No more moving! No more anything! Break one more rule and you’re out? Got it?”

“It’s alright, dear,” Aziraphale said, turning Crowley’s head with his hand. “He’s just making sure I’m okay.”

“I don’t care!” Crowley was near hysterical now. The things he does for his angel. “I know what I’m doing! You know what your doing! He,” he pointed back at Gabriel, “doesn’t know anything! All he has to do is sit there and be quiet! It isn’t that hard! I don’t think it’s that hard! Do you think it’s that hard?”

Aziraphale placed his other hand on Crowley’s face, thumbs rubbing over his cheeks. “No, darling. It’s not that hard. He’s sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Aziraphale pulled Crowley down and kissed him over and over until Crowley eventually relaxed, letting himself return to the task at hand. He decided to leave the neck alone, confident with how it was already turning nice and red. He kissed his way along Aziraphale’s collarbone as he popped the buttons on his shirt. 

Aziraphale moaned his approval, his body settling further into the mattress as Crowley kissed all up and down his chest. Crowley stopped at each nipple, sucking on them gently before flicking his tongue out over them. Aziraphale shuddered with each motion. 

Crowley smiled against Aziraphale’s skin and slid his way down to the stomach. It rolled with each hard breath as Crowley kissed and nipped at every inch of skin there. One of Aziraphale’s hands found purchase in his hair and he tugged gently, sending a jolt of electricity running up and down Crowley’s spine. 

Crowley kissed his way back up, crawling along Aziraphale’s body until he was kissing at his jaw again. “Be a good angel and miracle our clothes away, hm?”

Aziraphale furrowed his eyebrows at him. “Why?” They usually didn’t bother with that, actually enjoying the act of foreplay, of carefully removing clothes as they kissed and rubbed and touched. 

Crowley gave him a look, and then placed a trail of gentle kisses on his jaw. 

“Really, dear,” Aziraphale said, tutting a bit. “Don’t cause trouble.”

Crowley shrugged. “Guess we’ll just stay clothed, then.” He craned his neck and kissed at Aziraphale’s neck again, making sure to hit the spots he had missed before. 

Aziraphale stifled a moan and then huffed. A cool breeze flowed over their bodies as their clothes materialized away. Crowley smirked. Aziraphale may get his way most of the time, but the bedroom was Crowley’s domain.

(Okay, Aziraphale got his way most of the time in bed, too. But he at least made an effort to give in to Crowley more).

Crowley slithered back down Aziraphale’s body, his teeth grazing gently over skin, making Aziraphale’s body quiver. He kissed his way down one of Aziraphale’s hips, purposefully ignoring the thick cock pressed against Aziraphale’s stomach. He kissed down and over, allowing a few licks to the testicles before settling on the other side of the neglected cock, biting around the hip and upper thigh.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale moaned, hand finding purchase in Crowley’s hair once more, pulling on it quite hard.

Crowley smiled but decided that it wasn’t quite time to give in. Instead, he sat up a bit, reaching over and grabbing the bottle of lube from the bedside table. They didn’t, technically, need it. But they had found this particular brand that heated up with friction and Aziraphale insisted that they use it every time.

Crowley spread some on his fingers, grinning at Aziraphale. His grin fell, noticing how Aziraphale’s head was tilted away from him, hazy eyes looking over at Gabriel. Crowley scowled, following Aziraphale’s gaze. Gabriel was looking at Aziraphale, eyes open wide, small smile on his face. 

Crowley audibly hissed. Of course. Aziraphale was probably the one who wanted Gabriel here. He probably loved him. Probably dreamt about having sex with him every night and figured with stupid Crowley around this was the closest he was going to get. Well fine! If he didn’t want Crowley here then Crowley would just leave.

Crowley closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He got like that sometimes. He was getting better at recognizing it, and Aziraphale had given him some techniques to help calm him down whenever his thoughts betrayed him.

“Crowley, love, are you okay?” 

Aziraphale placed a hand on Crowley’s thigh, his nails scratching gently over the skin. Crowley opened his eyes, feeling the cooled and sticky lube on his finger. He wiped it off on the sheet and reapplied, settling back down between Aziraphale’s legs. 

“I’m fine,” Crowley said, placing light kisses to the inside of Aziraphale’s thighs. He continued to kiss all over Aziraphale’s legs and hips, purposeful to not touch a particular area, as he gently pushed a finger into his lover. 

Aziraphale gasped, hands coming down to grab at Crowley’s shoulders, fingernails digging into the skin. Crowley smiled, curling his finger a bit so he could press against Aziraphale’s prostate. Aziraphale moaned and lifted his hips up a bit, forcing Crowley’s finger in deeper.

“So needy, angel,” Crowley said, sliding a second finger in. 

“Crowley,” Aziraphale breathed out. His fingers dug deeper into Crowley’s shoulders and he figured he better get moving before he lost some blood.

Crowley shifted forward a bit, moving his fingers in and out in slow movements. He leaned his head down, licking his way from the base of Aziraphale’s cock to the tip, relishing in the way that it twitched at his light touch. Aziraphale’s back lifted off the bed as he huffed out harsh breaths.

Crowley wrapped his lips around the tip of Aziraphale’s cock. He sucked on it a little and Aziraphale settled back down, moaning. Crowley then slid down, opening his mouth and throat so he could take all of it, not stopping until his nose was pressed against Aziraphale’s skin. He hummed, and Aziraphale bucked up, pushing in ever just a little bit further. 

Crowley pulled back up, sucking the entire way up until he surfaced, releasing Aziraphale’s cock with a little pop. Aziraphale’s breath was heavy but Crowley didn’t give him anytime to catch it, easing a third finger in and picking up the pace. 

He heard something shift on the chair and glanced over. Gabriel had leaned over to the side a bit. Crowley squinted at him, it did technically count as a third strike. But Gabriel had leaned over so he could get a better look at Aziraphale’s face, and Crowley really couldn’t blame him. With blond hair slick with sweat and rosy cheeks formed into a blissed-out smile, Crowley would risk breaking a few rules to see his face too. So he let it slide. This time.

“Oh, Crowley, oh,” Aziraphale murmured, his head rolling around on the bed, his hands still making bruises on Crowley’s shoulders. 

“Are you ready for me, my love?” Crowley asked. 

Aziraphale nodded. Crowley pulled his fingers out, willing the mess on them away. He positioned himself, getting on his knees and lifting Aziraphale’s hips off the bed. Then he stopped.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale asked. He grabbed his arms. “Everything okay?”

Crowley nodded, smirk plastered on his face. “And getting better,” he said. “Get up, angel.”

Crowley moved back and sat on the corner of the bed, facing out towards Gabriel. Aziraphale climbed off the bed and walked over, wrapping his arms around Crowley’s neck. He started to straddle him but Crowley shook his head, making a little circle with his finger. 

Aziraphale gave him a look and shook his head a little before he turned around, backing up onto Crowley’s lap. Crowley grabbed his hips, helping him up. He glanced over at Gabriel. His eyes were wide and bright, and his hands were gripping the arms of the chair, his knuckles white. Crowley grinned and kissed just behind Aziraphale’s ear. 

Aziraphale leaned back against him, his back arching a bit. Crowley reached down between them. He rubbed some lube on himself and lifted Aziraphale up so he could slide in, nice and easy. Aziraphale’s head fell back, the most delicious moan slipping out of his plump lips. Crowley replaced his hands on Aziraphale’s hips and started rocking up into him, every thrust earning him a satisfied grunt from his lover.

Gabriel’s attention was all over the place. His eyes couldn’t seem to sit still, bouncing around from Aziraphale’s face, to his chest, to his stomach, to where Crowley was pushing into him and back again. Crowley smirked and gently sucked on Aziraphale’s ear. 

“I bet you want this to be you,” Crowley said, lust-laden eyes boring into Gabriel’s skin. “You want to be fucking him, feeling your dick slide into his tight, hot ass.”

Gabriel made a strangled noise and the arms of the chair splintered a little as he gripped them even tighter. Crowley chuckled, deep and low. 

“Crowley,” Aziraphale whispered.

“No, no, angel,” Crowley said. He shook his head, kissing at Aziraphale’s neck as his dick pressed hard against his prostate. “Say his name.”

Aziraphale let out a bit of a whimper, grinding his hips down, rocking himself on Crowley’s cock. “Oh, Gabriel,” he said. “Yes.”

The arms of the chair cracked, a few splinters of wood digging into Gabriel’s hands, not that he seemed to mind. Crowley licked his lips. Torturing the archangel had definitely been the right move. But Crowley could do better. 

“Turn around, angel,” Crowley whispered, nipping at his ear again. 

Aziraphale shook his head, placing his hands over Crowley’s and rocking faster against him. Crowley laughed, kissing his way along Aziraphale’s shoulders. Once Aziraphale got going it was damn near impossible stopping him. But Crowley had plans. 

Crowley grabbed Aziraphale’s thighs and stood up. Aziraphale pouted, huffing in disapproval as Crowley slid out and set Aziraphale down. Aziraphale crossed his arms, squinted at Crowley as he turned around. 

Crowley chuckled and rubbed his knuckles over Aziraphale’s cheek. “So spoiled,” he said, smiling and tutting at him. 

Aziraphale let his arms fall and tried to steady his face, to prove that he wasn’t spoiled. Even though he was. Not that Crowley minded. He loved to spoil Aziraphale, made life interesting. But just this once he was going to change up the plans. A little tormenting required it from time to time. 

Crowley grabbed Aziraphale’s hips and started walking him backwards, up towards the chair. Aziraphale raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t stop him. Crowley backed him all the way up, until Aziraphale’s legs were nudging against Gabriel’s. Then, with a devilish grin, he leaned Aziraphale back, grabbing his waist and lifting him up until his back was resting on Gabriel’s legs, his head pressed against Gabriel’s stomach. 

Gabriel went rigid, not even breathing as his eyes practically bugged out. Aziraphale might have had the sense of mind to say or do something if Crowley wasn’t immediately pushing back in, holding Aziraphale up with one hand and guiding himself in with the other. Aziraphale could only moan in ecstasy, his head pressing back against Gabriel. 

Crowley didn’t give him much time to adjust, grabbing Aziraphale’s hips tightly and thrusting into him. Aziraphale moaned with each thrust, his legs wrapping around Crowley, forcing him into an awkward position. Not that it mattered. It was kind of interesting how each thrust seemed to scoot the chair back a bit, Crowley pushing into Aziraphale, who pushed against Gabriel, who did nothing to stop anything from happening. 

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said, hands reaching out and grabbing Gabriel’s arms for support. The muscles seemed to harden under his touch. “I’m close. Please.”

“Anything for you, angel,” Crowley said. 

He picked up the pace and broughr one hand around to stroke Aziraphale’s cock, thumb pressing at the tip as his fingers worked up and down. Aziraphale let out a groan, rocking himself hard against Crowley’s dick, using his legs to keep him in deep. He came not long after, spilling over into Crowley’s hand, a few drops landing on his chest and stomach. 

Crowley could never last once Aziraphale came, not with how his ass tightened around him, practically squeezing the cum out. He continued to thrust his way through both of their orgasms, riding it out with him, bringing him down slowly. When he finally pulled out he was messy and tired. 

Crowley helped Aziraphale up and then sat on the edge of the bed, resisting the urge to collapse. Aziraphale ran a hand through his hair, and then kissed him on the forehead. 

“Get some rest, my dearest,” Aziraphale said. He waved his hand, the mess gone and his clothes back on. Crowley glared at the clothes but didn’t fight him as Aziraphale gently pushed him down to the bed. “I’m just going to see our guest out and I’ll be right back.”

Crowley nodded and closed his eyes.

Aziraphale peeled the still shocked Gabriel from the chair and led him out of the room. “Oh dear,” he said, grabbing Gabriel’s hands. He waved his own hand over them, removing the wood and healing the wounds.

“I could do that for you,” Gabriel said. 

Aziraphale looked up at him. “What’s that now?”

“That.” Gabriel gestured to the bedroom door. “I could do that for you. If that’s what you want, I can do that.”

Aziraphale smiled softly at him, a hand resting on his arm. “I told you, Gabriel. I love Crowley, and I’m always going to be with him and no one else.”

“I could make you happy!” Gabriel grabbed Aziraphale’s hands in his own, earnest, bright eyes staring into his. “I want to make you happy.”

Aziraphale frowned a bit. Gabriel looked so hopeful. Despite everything, it really did hurt to let him down so much. 

“You know what would make me happy?” Aziraphale said. Gabriel shook his head slightly. “It would make me very happy to have you as a friend.”

Gabriel’s eyebrows rose. “That would make you happy?”

Aziraphale nodded. “It would make me very happy, Gabriel.”

Gabriel mimicked his nod. “Okay then. If that’s what will make you happy then, Aziraphale, we’re friends!”

Aziraphale smiled, squeezing Gabriel’s hands. Gabriel’s face lit up, smiling back at him. 

“I should get back to Crowley, now,” he said, dropping Gabriel’s hands. “But do come by again soon.”

“You got it, buddy,” Gabriel said. 

Aziraphale chuckled and entered the room. It had been a strange day, but at least it ended well. Crowley was already snoring and Aziraphale smiled fondly at him as he crawled into the bed. Crowley instinctively rolled over, wrapping his arms around Aziraphale. Aziraphale kissed him on the forehead. A very well ending indeed.


End file.
